Often I hear from clients a desire to "spark up" their sex lives. They ask me 'how do I get more passion and excitement with my partner?' And I know they are secretly hoping for the quick fix: drink maca root; do this exercise; touch your partner this way. But, like all good things in life, bringing more erotic energy into your relationship takes a personal effort.
The answer to bringing more sexual excitement into your life, starts with a question: How can I turn myself on? Ask yourself this question, and remain curious. It may be a hot bath and some candles that will help you feel sexier. Or it could be an explicit text and photo showing your partner how much you want them. Possibly a trip to the gym and a little sweat will excite you. It might be requesting your partner sit with you for ten minutes, and listen to you describe your day. Or it may just take a few kegels and some erotica or a fantasy. Listen to what your body and mind crave in order to feel turned on.
Once you have found that turn-on and can feel yourself wanting sexual connection, it is time to decide how you want to use this erotic energy. Are you wanting to invite a partner into your excitement? Remember, this is an invitation, so make it inviting! Help them to move into a more sensual and erotic space with you, and be understanding if they are not in a state of sexual interest. Are you wanting to use your turn on for some solo-sex and a moment of self care? Or maybe you want to channel the eroticism into a creative endeavor?
Whatever you choose to do with erotic energy once you feel it, know that the power to bring it online is an internal process. You are in control of how sexy and turned on you feel each day, so cultivate a strong internal eroticism.
