Is it worth your time? Whatever “it” happens to be at this moment, are you experiencing this activity as quality time in your life?
Your time is valuable and precious, its sum total equals your life. We all show up better in our life after spending some quality time with ourselves. One of the best ways to build intimacy is to learn to make pockets of time for yourself. You are worth every second of it!
Quantity or Quality Time?
As communities around the world choose to stay indoors to protect each other from this pandemic, you may be faced with a unique experience: Spending quantity time with yourself, your partner, your children, or whomever you live with currently. Yes, you read that right: quantity time. We are all going to be inside for weeks still, possibly even months. Hopefully this experience will turn into one of quality time for you, where you go to bed each night with shining moments from the day. While I believe the answer to making quality time can be summed up in one word, intimacy, there are so many ways to get there.
Intimacy starts with you. You are the key to how alive, sexy, and connected you feel in this lifetime. Everything necessary to experience the quality of life you want is available. If you are sheltering-in-place with a partner and wanting to feel connected to them throughout this trying time, first ask yourself: how connected to myself am I right now? Are you taking time to nourish yourself and practice self-care?
Ways to Practice Quality Time with Yourself
Here are 3 simple ways to begin connecting to yourself and build some quality time into your day. You may find that one or all of these activities speak to you, so take time for yourself and follow through on as many as you want. You might also find that none of them are exactly right for you, tweak it and make it your own. In essence, each of these suggestions is an opportunity to practice and find what works for you.
First is journaling. Set a timer for 20 minutes or plan to write a certain number of pages (I usually do 3 pages), and then just allow yourself to write whatever comes to your mind in a stream of consciousness flow. Some good places to begin: What am I feeling right now? Am I aware of particular thoughts or ideas? How is my body feeling right now? Keep writing until the timer goes off or until you hit that final line. Even if you’re writing “I don’t know what to write” over and over again. Personal growth hack: If you want a more affirmative phrase to repeat, try “My time matters.” The exercise is meant to create space to watch and witness your own mind. Notice each time you think or feel something new. Notice if you get distracted or bored or excited, and continue to record it all on the paper.
Second is movement. You know what kind of movement would be best for yourself. I suggest making this a solo practice, but it also works to follow someone else’s instruction. So find a private spot in your home and let your body move. You might stretch, practice yoga, turn on music and dance, or even exercise a bit. Whatever you can do to connect with and feel your body. Again, set a timer for this activity so that you can give your full attention to what you are doing.
Finally, taking some time in nature. This is an opportunity for self-intimacy; try doing this alone, rather than invite members of your household along on this particular outing. You may be in a similar place as me, where you don’t know where you’d get some nature time while still honoring the spirit of shelter-in-place. I normally walk on trails for my nature dates, but it is nearly impossible to stay six feet away from others when passing on a trail. So I’ve been getting creative. There’s a space near my apartment with lots of trees, so I’ve been hanging a hammock and relaxing. Or today, I found a little square of grass in my apartment complex and laid in the sun. If you have a dog and are considering taking your furry friend with you on the adventure, first ask yourself: will my four-legged companion distract me from myself? If the answer is anything other than a resounding “no” consider taking your dog out after you’ve had some quality time alone.
Connect with Yourself First
Activities that improve internal awareness, like the ones suggested here, are what nourish our spirit. What I am hope you find after trying these practices, is it’s actually easier to connect with others after you’ve given yourself some time. We experience quality time with our loved ones when we are present, calm and in a mental space available for connection. These qualities are evoked more readily when we create pockets of time to connect with ourselves first.
Now it’s your turn. Share the ways you spent, or will spend, quality time with yourself today! When you share what works for you, it helps others to find what works for them. We all need help from each other to find our way to a happy and full life. Sending warmth and love your way during these uncertain times. Take care and stay safe!